Problems Unseen

This morning my microwave wasn’t working right. It groaned and creaked as it turned, and vibrated like a merry-go- round having a bad play day, jerking merrily as it went along. One minute went past. I pulled out my coffee cup and the water was barely warm. My husband looked at it, fiddled with it and I readjusted the turntable and set it for another minute just one more minute and it repeated the same carousel episode from the minute before. Again, I took the coffee cup out and the water was still not very hot.

 Standing there, looking at it, wondering what in the world is wrong with this fairly new microwave, I decided it wasn’t worth trying to use it. I resorted to a hot pot and debated the old-fashioned use of an ordinary stainless steel pan just in case…somehow it just seemed easier, safer, and in the long run much quicker.

The thought occurred to me as I turned to look out the kitchen window that much of life it like that microwave oven, something is wrong, you know it because although it is working, it isn’t working well. What is wrong isn’t seen nor is it obvious. One is left wondering what the problem is and how to fix it.

There are a lot of things in my life that are like that. I may know that there is a problem within me but knowing how to fix it is another thing. So I wander off, shaking my head, like I do when the microwave isn’t working right because I know that I don’t know how to fix it. 

I can go pray, asking God for wisdom, deliverance, help, and pleading with Him to sooth my troubled heart over matters that seem to be way over my head. Yet, there it sits, reminding me that it needs to be repaired by God, or in the case of the microwave a repairman. Funny, how little things in life remind us of our own need before the Lord. Oh, how we need Him to fix us from the inside out.

Blessings,

Lori

The Mixed-Up Cherry Tree

 We have a mixed up cherry tree outside our house by the mailbox. When we first moved in here fourteen years ago it was a struggling flowering cherry tree. I am not sure what happened to it before we came, but I think that someone tried to graft a Japanese Cherry Tree with a Rainier Cherry tree and the result is this.

Up until recently it didn’t produce any cherries but the year before last it produce a single Rainier cherry, right where the these blossoms are. 

Where the trunk ends and the branches start it tries to produce the weeping branches but it also produces the typical cherry tree branches that grow up tall and straight, both bloom but the weeping ones bloom first and then the top.

About a year ago I got fed up with it and decided to chop off all the weeping branches and just let the regular branches grow, however, this is a persistant little tree and it refuses to quit producing weeping branches. I have decided to just let the silly tree grow however it wants, maybe it will just decide to produce more cherries.

God’s Comforts

I read this verse yesterday.

“In the multitudes of my anxieties within me, your comforts delight my soul.”

Psalms 94:19

Somehow this verse reminds me that I am not alone in my times of overwhelming anxiety. They color my view and cloud my thoughts so that I cannot see clearly. Yet God sees to it that I am not without comfort. Often I forget to run to Him and ask Him to help me through those times, but He always walks with me through my worries. I want to learn more about His comforts and I know He will help me.

God’s Love and Mental Illness

The refrain from ” The Love of God” by Frederick Lehman touches my heart:

“Oh, love of God, how rich and pure! How measureless and strong! It shall forevermore endure- The saint’s and angel’s song.”

The last verse was said to have been written on a wall by a patient in an insane asylum.

“Could we with iink the oceans fill, and were the skies of parchment made, were every stalk on earth a quill, and every man a scribe by trade, to write the love of God above, would drain the ocean dry. Nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky.”

It is said that some people think that the patient wrote those words in moments of sanity. I believe that God in His mercy is able to touch us even in an insane asylum. He doesn’t leave us just because we suffer from a mental illness or any other illness. God shows us great kindness even in our deepest distress. Mental illness is no barrier to Him, so why shouldn’t He comfort someone who is in a mental hospital with the truth of His word? In our weakness is shows Himself strong. When others give up on us, He is still there. I think this refrain from “The Love of God” shows us that nothing is too hard for God. He promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us, even in an insane asylum.

“That’s Impossible!” or Is It?

“Did you give the horse his strength? or clothe his neck with a flowing mane? Did you make him leap like a locust, striking terror with his proud snorting? He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength, and charges into the fray. He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing, he does not shy away from the sword. The quiver rattles against his side, along with the flashing lance. In frenzied excitement he eats up the ground, he cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds. At the blast of the trumpet he snorts, “Aha!” He catches the scent of  battle from afar, the shout of  commanders and the battle cry.” Job 39:19-25

Secretariat Movie Clip-Belmont Stakes

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out before us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews12:1-3

Those of you who have watched the movie Secretariat will remember some of those words from the book of Job as Secretariat raced around the last turn at the Belmont Stakes, the silence, then the scripture, and then the song “Oh Happy Day!” Remembering all of the doubt that was shared by those who just could not believe that there was any chance for her or her horse. Yet in the midst of doubt and problems emerged a great horse. Financial troubles, family problems, and media pressure came and went but she persevered when most would have given up under such severe pressure. It is incredibly easy to give up, so much harder to stay in the race, face loss, and run no matter what. It is what I want in my walk with God and I feel like I fail more than I succeed. Yet. my race is not finished and I must be as determined as a race horse with a will to win the heavenly calling.

When I pick up my bible to read and I look at Hebrews 11 and 12, I am reminded to keep running. Behind me are things like fear and doubt and I must believe that God will see me through every detail of my life. I have made lots of mistakes, yet underneath is that call to run. It never goes away, it is always there, urging me onward. Much like my desire as a young girl to own a horse, it has never gone away but I can remember wanting to run and ride one. It has never left me, and so when I read these verses in the bible there is a deep longing to feel the wind of the Holy Spirit as I run toward my heavenly Father. It never goes away. So, I would encourage you to run your race in your walk with God. Never give up.

Blessed Are The Tears That Fall

Driving down the road yesterday an old song came on the Christian radio station I was listening to. It is called Blessed Are The Tears That Fall by Bryan Duncan. I thought I would share it with you, maybe it will help someone else going through a difficult time, just click the link below to listen on YouTube.

Blessed Are The Tears That Fall

Sweet Trust

Sometimes there are lyrics of songs that just resonate within me. Such are part of the lyrics from In Christ Alone by Phillips, Craig, and Dean.

“In Christ alone I place my trust, and find my glory in the power of the cross. In every victory let it be said of me, my source of strength, my source of hope, is Christ alone.”

I feel like I am as far away from that as the valley is from the mountain top, yet the longing of my heart to trust Christ like that is so deep it hurts. Falling short doesn’t mean I don’t want to trust God like that. I want it more than the air I breathe. I hunger for it and yet I have such a hard time getting there.

There are many things to overcome, things like anxiety, that seem to stick out like huge rocks jutting out of a mountainside looking like there is no way around them. Ah, sweet rest in Christ! I know that God sees my heart and only He is able to calm my heart and help me to trust Him in every circumstance, what a treasure He is to me. He never leaves me nor forsakes me even in my deepest times of anxiety.

Mistakes and Gifts

Lately I am finding out that my creative side has a way of showing up unexpectedly, or maybe it is just that at my age I am a little more willing to look at things in a different way. If something doesn’t work out quite like I thought it would, I now just see if it will work in a different way or what might work instead. I haven’t always thought like that. I was far too scared to try a different way or idea, I was afraid I would make a mistake and somewhere in the background of my mind I could imagine being made fun of or ridiculed. It has become more of an, “Oh, that didn’t work! What else might work or what else could I do instead?”

Mistakes have become “friends” of sorts, eyes that help me see things in a different way. It has become a way finding out what gifts I have, a way of reducing anxiety. I look at things more in tune with, “If that didn’t work, what can I do with what I have already got or started?” It has become a friendly thing. I don’t necessarily have to throw out what I have begun but begin to use it as a tool. It has become a sigh of relief to me. One of the joys of trying to paint with acrylics is that I can always start over. What is a mistake becomes part of the painting and you may not even know it is there, more than that it adds to the beauty of the final picture. It is in fact as if I see God’s kindness and mercy in allowing me to think, create, make mistakes, and run to Him for help when things look unfixable to me. I can never see the good in my mistakes but I know that it feels like an invitation from God to go to Him, talk to Him about it, and then He gives me the courage to try again, especially when I cannot even imagine things ever looking right or being right again. He is faithful!

Still

 

That little word “still” brings to mind many things. Waiting on God requires something of me and most often it means I need to be still from the constant pressure of things that I think need to be done. Finding that one particular quiet moment takes a little effort on my part, I seem to be able to find a million other things to do, but entering into that moment of stillness is priceless.

I think of other things that the word still means to me, things like the constant love of my husband who manages to still love me even with all my faults. It is a dependable word that is hung in the doorway of the hearts of those who love others beyond what you could imagine. It is a word of  hope, like “still waiting”, like God does with us, and like we do with others. We learn patience that way. We learn how to sit through the hard things that would otherwise drive us away.

It is an active, living word that carries with it a determination to see things through and it is faithfulness that helps us believe for the best even when it looks like it couldn’t get any worse. It is not knowing the outcome but learning to trust in situations when trusting and believing is the most difficult thing for you to do. That little word “still” embraces those who are discouraged and have given up and we step forward and love them in their brokeness. Still is knowing that God hasn’t left you and you are not alone.

Kicking Up Dust

 

I wonder how many times I have looked backwards while still trying to walk forward. Usually that means I am looking to see if someone is coming along behind me somewhere. The problem is that I end up not seeing what is in front of me and since that is where I am headed you would think I would keep my mind on where I am trying to go instead of looking back at where I have been.

But there are some good stories back there, lessons that were hard to learn, and life experiences that were hard to bear at the same time. Maybe it is best to keep looking forward, to try to do better than I did before. Some days it is a struggle either way, on those days I might just spend my time looking down at the dusty road I am traveling on as I kick up a little dust with each passing step. Goodness knows, I appreciate the peace and quiet on such a road as this. It gives me time to clear my thoughts, to pick and choose the ones to reflect on like I would if they were flowers and field grasses along the road of life; a bouquet to look at to remind me of the important things, even if I did tuck in a few thorns as reminders of some painful times. Funny how the picture can look so different when you look backward at it as you are walking along, able to see what you couldn’t before because your perspective was limited simply because you failed to walk all around it or maybe it just has to do with time and distance changing things. None the less, I don’t think I would give up the hard things because in the long run they can create the greatest beauty.